Those of us in the Christian faith frequent the annunciation this time of year, when the angel Gabriel appears to Mary and tells her she will give birth to Jesus. I’ve been sitting with this passage quite a lot this Christmas season, and my eyes keep gravitating to the final sentence.
And then the angel left her.
Admittedly, it’s a bit morbid to notice this when the rest of the story is so beautiful, but I wonder about this leaving. Such big news, then suddenly an empty room. I imagine the silence, the complex swirl of emotions left behind for a teenage girl to manage.
We face leavings throughout life along with the complicated feelings they bring.
being left at school for the first day of kindergarten
leaving home for school or work
relocating to a new state
resigning or retiring from a meaningful job or career
feeling estranged from family or friends
forgetting our true self and how we want to live
losing a treasured relationship to death or decision
Most of our leavings aren't so angelic as Mary's. My heart goes to a therapy client who lost a beloved spouse last Christmas. And to another whose parent died. And another whose marriage withered away. Christmas is a blessed time of celebration for many. It can be a time of somber loss, too.
A sullen loneliness seeps into so many souls this time each year, oozing its way between holiday festivities to settle into these long, dark nights.
A dear student once gifted me Wendell Berry's book, Leavings, for Christmas.
One poem, written through the eyes of Berry's fictional character Jayber Crow, stands out:
Many I loved as man and boy
Are gone beyond all that I know,
Fallen leaves under falling rain,
Except Christ raise them up again.
I know my blessings by their cost,
Thus is the pride of man made low.
To ease the sorrow of my thoughts,
Though I'm too weary now and slow,
I'd need to dance all night for joy.
I know nothing of the leavings you may be experiencing or remembering this holiday season. Any words of solace I may offer here will ring hollow and trite, so I’ll not try beyond this:
May you glimpse what Berry describes as blessings known by their cost.
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